stressed ?

i don't know why, my head is so heavy today that i don't have mood to do anything at all, except writing about it here. I really don't know, the other day only i had this kind of feeling, stressed, depressed up for no reason.

anyway, i just learnt how to differentiate between "good feelings", and "love feelings"..well, can't really explain it in english, what i'm tryin to say is, they're not the same. I guess the reason why i'm so lost last time, is cause i don't know the difference. 感觉，不是爱情.

And thanks to myself for realizing this, my problems stacks up. How many of them that i actually have feelings(感觉) on them, and how many, that i actually love them. I really don't know.

But as of now, i'm afraid...afraid that i would made the same old mistake again, that i rather kept it to myself, and let it be as it is. Feelings or love, i'll just let it move on as it's suppose to be, not gonna change it, and not gonna take any chances to fall in love.

for someone like me, since i hate making someone hurts, i rather, not to start it. I rather not to have it, so that i don't have to bear the sadness of making them hurt anymore. For instance, i don't think i have the courage anymore to be with anyone in relationship, since...i really do not want to hurt them or make them cry. I rather choose to be alone, in the end.