I've been always wondering when will be the day like this will happens, the day where 2 person's thoughts can be differ from each other when there are things to be done.
"If all you can say that you care, but you can't show it. You're just lying". Perhaps i'll be a liar all these while. Not to mentioned there will never be a day that i'll be someone that everyone hope for. I'm not the kind of person whom wanna live up to people's expectation, i just wanna live the life i want. Is that hard ?
Everytime when things goes like this, when i was hoping that you would understand and do not worried about things like 'these', it never will happen. In the end we'll just up for some arguement that you think everything went absolutely wrong, and at my end there's nothing that actually went wrong.
What's wrong with not seeing each other for a few days, as of last time when people do not have Handphones and time, they still love each other even tho they see each other once a month.
What's wrong with me for not being around once in awhile when you're with your friends ? It's not like im neglecting you or something, at least the time i'm using is for the future that i think it would help.
If you truly think that i don't say anything, means that you're facing all these alone. Then i'm afraid to say the life that i'm living is much more lonely than what you can think of. I can't think of anything which is much even worst than not be able to reply, talk, or to express when one's having conversation. No one ever know, how does it feel that when you're quiet and not being able to say anything.
If i am not someone who can say as much as people wish, means i'm not. If i am not talkactive as other people, means i'm different. If i'm not doing anything that people doing all the time, it doens't mean i don't have the thoughts. People can accept the fact that i don't care if i don't voice out, but people will never care and accept that you care if you did something. I guess, words are more important for people than "availability", haha. Ironic world.
If i would to explain every little thing, you would go answer and give you opinion on everything i said, if i were to give mine opinion after yours, that would leaves as if i'm not acknowledging, and worst it'll only lead to "i make you cry" situation. Things like this just keep repeating, and repeating. I've been always wonder if it's normal for people to think of everything as bad prospect as long as they weren't being pampered.
The bottom line is, i'm different. Stop treating me the same as other people. And i don't treat people the way i want them to treat me back, i live the life i want as how i want, and i got my own way of expression and doing things. I guess as long as people don't accept that, it wont mean anything.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I have changed ?
Always looking forward seeing you, trying my best to be at place. Going on best effort so that my heart is around eventhough i am tired.
Everyday, everymoment. I think of you when i'm free at work. Thinking of what to do at the end of the day, with you. No matter how tired i am, no matter how moody, or depress i am from work. It will never effect the reason for me to find you, cause i need to see you.
All these while i have been a person who is not organize enough. But now, i've learnt how to prioritize.
When i work, i focus at work; But when i'm on break or lunch, i think of you.
When i drive, i focus at driving; But when the road is clear, i will hold on you.
When i'm exhausted, i rest; but when you're around at the same time, i try be by your side.
When i'm out with you, i put away my tiredness, my moodyness, my worryness, and my sellfishness. All i had in mind, is to let you enjoy as much as you can.
On Monday, i was ignoring the fact that i'm tried, and go out walking with you.
On Tuesday, i ignore the fact that i am depress from work, and try my best to be out with you.
But, today...after hours of working with sleepie and stressful mood, all i asked for is to rest earlier at home. And i cant even chat with a cheerful you, instead...i am not resting even tho i am home.
You said i don't give much emotion when i not seeing you...and when i already told you i'm tried. Even tho i tried not to let you think that way by giving you a short call after work. It still happen.
You said i am not used to be what i am. Well, that's because things changed, and i don't see it changed to the bad side. As i still love you as much as i do.
You SmS me thought i weren't even gonna sms you. That message just made my day the worse, as i was being positioned that way even tho i tried so hard.
Please baby, don't let me worry all the time, i would bring you out if i knew you were moody cause of the heat. But sometimes, things won't get better if we don't help each other. How hard is it to do things that you don't like just to make things better ?
That reminds me, i hate living in this house, i hate the fact that i have to stay in office for so long, hated the fact that i am talking on the phone everyday, the fact that i am in sales, and need to presuade people. Hated the most when i don't have enough money to do the things i want.
But i'm glad i know you, glad that you're with me. Loving you makes me forget all those hatred. So please, stop thinking that i've changed or doesn't prioritize you, cause i always do. It hurts the most when you think i don't care about you. Even tho there are times that im not doing the things that i used to do, but i do still think of you all the time..
Everyday, everymoment. I think of you when i'm free at work. Thinking of what to do at the end of the day, with you. No matter how tired i am, no matter how moody, or depress i am from work. It will never effect the reason for me to find you, cause i need to see you.
All these while i have been a person who is not organize enough. But now, i've learnt how to prioritize.
When i work, i focus at work; But when i'm on break or lunch, i think of you.
When i drive, i focus at driving; But when the road is clear, i will hold on you.
When i'm exhausted, i rest; but when you're around at the same time, i try be by your side.
When i'm out with you, i put away my tiredness, my moodyness, my worryness, and my sellfishness. All i had in mind, is to let you enjoy as much as you can.
On Monday, i was ignoring the fact that i'm tried, and go out walking with you.
On Tuesday, i ignore the fact that i am depress from work, and try my best to be out with you.
But, today...after hours of working with sleepie and stressful mood, all i asked for is to rest earlier at home. And i cant even chat with a cheerful you, instead...i am not resting even tho i am home.
You said i don't give much emotion when i not seeing you...and when i already told you i'm tried. Even tho i tried not to let you think that way by giving you a short call after work. It still happen.
You said i am not used to be what i am. Well, that's because things changed, and i don't see it changed to the bad side. As i still love you as much as i do.
You SmS me thought i weren't even gonna sms you. That message just made my day the worse, as i was being positioned that way even tho i tried so hard.
Please baby, don't let me worry all the time, i would bring you out if i knew you were moody cause of the heat. But sometimes, things won't get better if we don't help each other. How hard is it to do things that you don't like just to make things better ?
That reminds me, i hate living in this house, i hate the fact that i have to stay in office for so long, hated the fact that i am talking on the phone everyday, the fact that i am in sales, and need to presuade people. Hated the most when i don't have enough money to do the things i want.
But i'm glad i know you, glad that you're with me. Loving you makes me forget all those hatred. So please, stop thinking that i've changed or doesn't prioritize you, cause i always do. It hurts the most when you think i don't care about you. Even tho there are times that im not doing the things that i used to do, but i do still think of you all the time..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)