Lately, the issue at home has been rised up again, i mean..not only us, among everyone...relatives, non relatives, and etc etc that's not related but yet related.

The bond of this stupid family, i mean..as in the entire blood connection isn't that good to begin with. I wonder if it's cause of those aunties, or maybe it's just the stupidity of some rich, or half rich people.

The very first issue was raised since 1984. When i was born, and was having a slight minor mini arguement between my dad and my grandfather. On whether who should i been taken care by...well, the arguement was rather simple, grandfather insist on taking me cause father got no time to take care of me due to his overflowing work at Bangsar last time, when we used to stay in Wangsa Maju, and father insisted...for don't know what reason tho..well, it's pretty obvious isn't it, cause im his son.

Then the next one i can remember is, the day of entering Kindergarden, i have no idea why i'm studying in 2 kindergarden each of the 2 years..weird...and sad tho, since the bond with my friends arent that good, and there was once i fell off from a monkeybar, and knocked my head slightly a little...maybe that's why i cant remember well what happened.

Entering primary school aint easy...and again, grandfather wants me go to a chinese school, and my father wanted me to go to english school...well, don't know much about the detail tho, but i finally get in a chinese school in wangsa maju...the only thing i remember is, going out at 630 am, and coming back home at 8pm...the only time that i could see my parents is the time we go to class, and waiting for them to come home after work. Other than that, i cant really remember my youth time..

Then the next issue i can remember is, the land in china was illegally taken by someone there to build apartments...due to some financial status, lawyers and such cant be done to take back the land that was originally ours. All they can do is, go there...and take a last glance at the land that we used to have...and because of this, my father's brothers, and my grandfathers brother, argued....weird, all only talks about the benefit of the land if taken back, but no one willing to spend money to hire lawyer to get it back...my grandfather is the only one who spent money on lawyer to investigate..but, it's never enough to put into court and get it back...and the case just droped like this..

hmm...and then again, father wants his siblings to each take 25k to buy a house for my grandparents..but, no one wants....weird isn't..."Family" that suppose to help each other..

Don't know about the detail of operation of my grandfather in China, all i know is, it's all paid by my uncle..my grandma's brother..and again, my father is the only one who look after him all the while..

My father passed away, and my auntie who claimed that she always pay for his medical checkup fees, took all his wills...and again, my father kept quiet about it...

When it comes to money, devil grows around them...there's currently few aunties staying in my uncle's house..all money sucker, and what's wrong that my grandma stay with his brother ? That they still have to complain about..don't mention that, there's one of them is not related to us at all..getting backstab and gossiping around aint something new anymore..

Now the issue of my father possibility of having a kidney stone...no one would even bother asking, except my grandma, and his sister..his brothers ? suckers that ask my sis about him, when he's around here and can ask him himself....i dont' really like the family here, that's why going to penang once a year during chinese new year, is like seeing alot of masked faces people..

and even now for me whom always planning ahead on what to do, run around and walk always...got complained again that im not doing anything..well, pretty obvious isn't it..if i dont do anything, i wont work in subang, i wont even get a job for tomorrow..isn't it...

During my birthday, they can even dare to ask whos birthday cake is that, slicing it up without telling me what they're doing with it..not saying anything or ask about my birthday night or anything at all about it...i've been wondering they care more about my health, my future, my pride...or, my wealth...

Hell, i hate this whole family tree...

Not picking up calls, not appearing on msn....so that i can escape everything that people prepare for me, so that i can escape from each and every celebration that people might come up for me...but, in the end..i have to pick up a call, whom ask me go out at nights, friends that i only can rely on.

Not knowing what will happen next, was quite happy that everyone came out just to celebrate with me, as in those that always being there for me when im down....when i needed them, works and morning classes never stop them from seeing me just before my birthday ends, and of course the most unexpectedly, a cake that she bought for me...is there..

Knowing how special this cake is, my tears nearly rush out, nothing is even more happier than seeing her name on it, saying that it's from her..first thing i did was sms her since i cant call her, totally speechless cause i'm overjoyed with it, how can i not ? since i get to eat cake like once every few year....and on that day before my birthday ends, i can really feel her around..so, even tho it's just a cake..you're already there =) The first one, and the last one who wished me..thanks for everything.

:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

So, all those without replies or smses is cause you wanted to be alone..sorry, i guess i should had just stayed at home, avoiding everything that might cause you to think that i left you out...i know it all, wait...is that even important ? Since i know you might be staying up just for it, since i already know you're kind of person that would stay up all the time just being ready for me...and i know it so well that you wont sleep that early even i had told you...yeah, it's true that i don't know how it feels for not being there, and the cake is there...but, for not be able to be there, cant do anything, seeing someone else celebrating with u with so much creativity, knowing that you finally happy over the cake you've been waiting for...and finally im relief that someone did come up with something, that i always wish for...but, nowing that you're so happy with it, im not sad about it anymore....not sad about not being able to do anything..

But, even tho i knew all that, still...it's abit sad that you're always being able to do anything that i wanted to do, which make me even more down..i don't know how to react on it sometimes, should i enjoy it ? should i just say thanks ? I wanted to turn down everyone request, and just bring home the cake..but in the end, i can only sms with you, telling you how much i love it, trying to make myself sound excited when i am excited with it, my tears nearly rushed out when you called at that time too...what can i say ? there no words that would or can express how happy i am that night...

And this morning you complaining about others celebrating with me ? Yeah, i know you dont like it...it's already my fault, i didn't know you would mind that i write about my friends on msn, since you already know how much i appreciate what you did...it's true that i never ask you to join, cause it's already 5 people here and i wouldn't know how to be with 2 situation...even tho i asked you too online, and you wouldn't, further more...i already did what i can, what do you expect me to do ? there's even a friend who skip work just because he overtired yesterday....

i really don't know what to say anymore, i know it's hard if you ask someone to do favors , especially those who you don't really know..that's why i wouldn't want you to get into trouble just because of me..cause, knowing that if they can get a cake, and knowing that i'll eat it without you around...is no different, which i think it's better to stay at home just to spend my quiet and happy day with you...but in the end, there's still things you can find and complain off...i really don't know what to do anymore..

Oh wait, did i mention that i went out, cause i probably know that he still will do the things you asked him ? hmm...it's getting messy here...maybe i should stop writing this with this feelings...

It was the greatest night yesterday just because of the cake.. as always, happiness dissappear so fast like you said..