and so...is this the ending ?

Looking back those days
ya, it's true..that i've been a fool all along
silly me who didn't even wanna get hold of chances
stupid me who think that i could handle all these
as of now,
i can't even go through a day
without talking to you even you're around.
It hurt so much
more than bleeding at this moment
like walking on a shattered glasses barefooted.

I wonder, if i have been loved before
or
they just stick around cause of the warmth they looking for.

In the end,
who will be the one who would give me their love ?

Unconditionally loving you..

Do i really need to write more ?

mixture of words

as day pass by
i started to feel that
i myself is running away not only the reality
but also my own dreams.

i really couldn't comprehend what i want to do anymore
at times, i can't really control myself
and for most of the times
even tho i knew i shouldn't
i always ended up doing it.

Even so,
No matter how painful it is
no matter how dark the future holds within me
i will still love you.

it's just another empty post..

fated ?

At about 10 years ago
I told you i love you
and it didn't work out
in the end, i have to spread the love
to another person you asked me to.
It took me 5 years to totally forgets about you.

And now
I said i love you
for now,
it never work out
but weird thing is,
same things happens again,
by asking me to spread my love again
to another person that you asked.

I wonder if it's my fate
that i'll always failed to be with the one i love
while being pushed, to someone else...

if it's so..
as of now,
i decided..to change my fate..
Not cause i wanna be with you,
it's because, i do love you..

rollercoaster...

It's not long since i knew you
but somehow it seems like i've known you forever...
even tho it's only for awhile,
it's the sweetest days that i've been through compared to my past..
even tho it's full of such unexplainable happiness
even tho, it has even more sadness
even tho, my heart shattered so easily everyday
just a glance of your smile
it miraculously sweep away all my sorrow.

I just realize it's not the right time for me to tell you how i really feels,
but i do believe,
Time will help me spread the words around,
and hopefully...when the time comes
no matter what my future lies
i wished that you truly know how i really feels about you.

If it's a fairy tale in dream, i would choose not to wake up from this wonderful, yet short dream.

And so, it rains..

I guess..i should slowly make myself dissappear as time comes...it hurt so much till i would walk in the rain in the morning..but, i think it should be the best for you =*)

I never thought, it was so hard to say how much i need you, cause i love you...

7th of August

People often make empty promises
said words with empty meaning
and always pretend that they are, when they weren't.

It makes me wonder as well, if i were the same
even tho i am not sure
but as of now, here i am...
i've never failed thinking of you..
I did tried to stay away
i did try to gave up
but if i do,
it's even hurter than not being able to hold,

Loving you is the best things happened in my life,
i'm not letting that go, just because we're not meant to be together
i decided to just stay in the shadow
just to continue to look after the one i love
who knows,
as time comes...eventually i'll let go.

Nevertheless,as of now loving you, is real..

and so, it seems my dream...has come to an end...

i wonder if it's the end, of what i hoping for as well..