fragment, of sweetnest

Sitting on my bead, i could sniff the blossom scent of yours still hovering around, while your angelic voice echo-ing in the room. Looking at the things that you like to play with, reminds me of alot of your smile.

A smile, that could kept me moving forward...

this..is where it ends

I just realize
the more you love someone
the more pain it'll have
and the reason why the pain exist
is, the proof that the love...does exist..


as of now
i'll put down the will of want-to-know

from the last day we were so close

till, the next day we were like stranger
i'll just let the reasons slip
and, i guess, there's no need for me to seek for the answer
as long, as you're happy

it doesn't matter what the reason is
doesn't matter who you are with.

I will, remember everything

and I will, always cheer for you...

And in the end...
i don't even know what you really think of me.
and whether if you ever loved me...

This, is where i'll end the love that i thought i found and could grab hold...

recalled..

here I am
on a familiar road
this time I was at the back
looking out towards the window
at those street lights passing by
while hugging the devil

this reminds me of the little princess
where I would give up the whole world
and forget about everything else
when i saw her sound sleep

I would stay up whole night
I would do whatever I could
just to protect your smile
for the memories I had with you
I'm glad it happened
and..it'll stay in my heart
forever

I realize i kept saying over the same thing
probably
cause i kept missing you..over and over again...

closure ?

I just realize
there's probably no need for me
to know
what people think and what happened
after that day afterall...

I should be better this way
of, how it should be now...

stupid..isn't it

Stupid...isn't it...

Been sitting right infront of the monitor

the list, is awefully short tonight

and it's too damn quiet, for a normal friday night.

Here i am, looking forward

to something, that i already knew it'll never happen

and yet, i still wished for it

is there nothing else that i could wish for?

I rejected, those who invited me to the party with their heart,

Cause i know, i wont be enjoying it anyway

Doesn't matter if i'm there

doesn't matter if i'm here

i still think of you

i still...miss you..

For once,

i never realize...

that's, it's been 5 hours +

That the only thing i wish for now

is just be able..to say hie to you..

I'm not even sure anymore..

how small my wish could be altered

how small my expection could be changed

and..how small the hope i could wish for...

How are you now anyway...i thoughts....

dreaming..i am ?

I wonder if i am silly for making this decision..
But, silly or not..i don't think i'll be regretting this =)

Tho i am unsure, but, it's probably the only way to see you again...

I wonder, if my small little hope today will come true ^_^

And now, i am officially declaring me and myself living in my own dream, where..i am still refusing to wake up..

welcome, to the world

And so,
people start to ignore my own existance..
people, start to ignore what i've asked..
people, start to treat me with silent treatment
people, start to not taking my words seriously
people, start to take things for granted,
people, start to do whatever they want
people, start to not care about others feelings
people, start to just act selfishly
and people, will never understand how i feel..

Under this peaceful night
where the rain falls
having my dinner here
I wonder
if you're tired of running
around my mind all these while.

I keep looking forward hearing from you
i kept, looking forward seeing you
i wonder if i had became desperate
to see your smile.

As time pass by
My action, became more contradicts,
i tried to hide it
i tried to fake it
i tried to lie to myself
but it never worked

I wonder
if i really don't have a choice anymore..

under da moonlight

Under the peaceful moonlight
I snuck up my earphone
turn on my ipod
and choose one of my favourite songs

the song echo thru my ears
as comfortable as it could sound
and as sad as it could be
since...it's the only thing that i could play
since, it's the only way...to hear your voice more often.

And so, i set foot
step, after step, i walk
towards a path where nothing in my mind
except you.

The path to home, doesn't seems to be as far
as where you are now..

Even so, we were so near,
and yet, i felt our distance...were so far...
it's as if...it never happened
it's, as if it never exist...
those time, were as if it's a dream...
but...the scratches in my heart, still remains,
and the love that i had, is so real..

I wonder, if it's my own destiny that im the only one who should sacrifice in everything
i wonder, if there's anyone whois doing the same to me, but i missed them out
i wonder...if the voice of my heart, could even reach you
i wonder....if, you're still rejecting it....
i wonder...in the end, if anyone could really understand what i've been through...
i wonder...

The smile, of an angel..

I just realize
just a glance of you beside me
could feel so refreshing.

Did i tell you
You are so beautiful until it would take my breath away ?

I would do anything to keep your lovely smile there
and to not make you cry
as,each drop of your tear...will take my life away...

searching..for a lost smile..

I've been always wonder...If you are happy with the life that you are having now, why...aren't you really smilling ?

as short as it could be..

The smallest word i know is 'I' the sweetest word i know is 'LOVE' the person i never forget is 'YOU'.

I wonder, if you still remember the first time i have mentioned that you were the most lovely sweetest person i have ever known =)

Lighting up...your path~

Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life.

But I'd rather be your moon, so I can shine on you during your darkest hour

Why do i get a feeling, that things...will get out of hands sooner or later this few days if i let it continue ?

For awhile, i was thinking at the past, where....i regret on cutting everything short...

Doesn't matter if i was alone
Doesn't matter if i were being misjudge
Doesn't matter if i were thrown around
Doesn't matter if i were labeled a liar
Doesn't matter if i was being hated

As long as, i manage to protect their future...
That's all, that matters..

But for now, i wonder..if i should see what would happen,
that i know, it would really happens,
If, i never act...

where do i belong....

I guess, for awhile i wont be able to get the care that i wanted.
For long, i have always wished for it
i've been waiting too long, that i can't remember how it feels anymore.

In this world where i always lock my heart,
And so you came by
you gave all the love you could
you showed me the most wonderful things that could happened
and you leave
without teaching me how to forget about you.

I wonder, what's the best way for me to go on..
In the end, where do i really belong anyway...

one small fragments of memories, of you...

You eye is big, round and beautiful.

Just like your heart, it's as beautiful as your eyes.

unconciously, developing da love, towards you..

I guess, feelings wont go anywhere if it were to keep it inside without letting it out.

This is the first time, that i felt so depress, and yet..i'm glad..and never regret
tho i knew how it will turned out
tho i knew there are still things that i could do, that i could push this harder
tho i knew, there are things that i could just force it out from others.
Somehow, deep inside me, i have never been able to do it.

Even though, i always ask them to look for passionate love, instead of just looking at long term relationship
even though, i always ask them to brace themself and be brave to get together with the love they found no matter what future lies
even though, i have been always tell them it's never too late until they got attached.
even though, i have always tell them that people who simply blurt out breaking up aint someone worth being with

I, myself...were never brave enough to do all these.

For all these night, i couldn't even tell apart what are the things that i should do, what are the things that i would regret or not anymore
I am trying, to cut things short by trying to forget about the love that i had,
But for some reason, somehow..it grew even stronger day by day.
I guess at least that means, the love for you was for real...

Having a crush on someone without others knowing, is the sweetest thing that could ever happen, but the reality....are always another matter..

And so, i think it's time, to seclude myself a little bit more and be more contradicts to these world...i guess, sooner or later i'll be back to the world of my own...

I made a mistake...and i wonder, when can i correct it..

There's nothing i could do, to prevent myself from missing you so much...day after day,almost every hours, minutes and second...no matter i was busy working, driving, or even having my lunch or dinner. All i think is you...Even a 10 minute nap, i could even dreamt of you being together, which seems like forever..

I wonder if i would go crazy again as this continues...

Desaturated...

As much as i tried to avoid admiting and ignoring the facts, i guess there's no way i could escape from the reality..

My world has indeed gone less colorful...quieter, and...getting a little bit meaningless...i wonder why...

hmm

It's amazing that how much a glance of eye , and a words from mouth could tell. Sometimes, we just have to ignore when we knew too much...but, there are times i wonder, if..have i ever ignored the wrong things which i am not suppose to ?

I guess, the heart will always tell, while the eyes will always deliver when they meet.

I need you, because..i love you..

I guess, feelings doesn't go away as you wanted.

Often people asked why someone were in relationship anyway, and often..people do not know if it's just a habit, or just cause they truly love each other.

Even now, reading back everything i wrote, i finally understand how...to differentiate someone you like and wanna be with, with someone you love and been dying to live with.

I just realize that, you could love someone so much, till you would let them go. And by loving someone, are always meant to care of their feelings before you.

If that so, i wonder...how long will a relationship last if they were never looking at the same future together..

How many people know how to differentiate between this 2 line anyway ?
* I love you, because i need you
* I need you, because i love you.

i will remembers..

I still remember, the first day i met you...for the unusual me whom usually go out with shorts, and some normal tShirt. I was dressed up nicer that day, what's more..styling up my hair where i don't do usually. Without knowing whom i'll be meeting, i head out for dinner, and that's the night..where it changes my life.

I still remember, the angelic voice which re-sound in me, dress in white, whom i don't even dare to look at, afraid that i'll fall for her in first glance. I avoided pretty well, for the first time..whom i actually decided just to remember nothing, except her beautiful voice.

I still remembers, few days later, here she is again, right infront of me this time. This time, she made me fell again. Her beautiful eyes made me goes deaf for awhile. At that time, i knew...she caught my heart.

I still remember, the day we talk about the things we noticed, the things that we enjoyed about...and that's when i look for all kinds of reasons, to see you whenever i could. And so, this is where i fell deeper..and deeper each day i sees you.

I still remember, the first day i got amazed by the most beautiful smile of yours
I still remember, the things you like the most
I still remembers, the day you enjoyed the most
I still remembers, the day where i am glad that i could spend time with you only
I still remembers, the note u wrote for me
and i'm glad, i'm the one whom you find when you're in trouble, when you needed someone, when you need a shoulder to cry on.

As time past by, even it's just a short period of time, these days seems to be the sweetest memories of all. As it's like a fairy tale..

As much as i wanted to protect you
as much as i miss you every second in everyday
as much as i want to tell you how lovely you are
to tell you how much you meant to me
as much as i want to be with you all the time and be there for you whenever you need
as much as i wanted to tell everyone else how much i love you
I can't...

and i know, in reality..i can't do this, forever.

I'm glad i met you
i'm glad that you let me love you, even it's just for awhile.
Although i can't be your number one,
you're always my number one in life.

But things can't be perfect all the time, that I know, sometimes we just have to let some things go. And now, i have learnt another lesson, where i learn when to give up, when to walk away, Even if it hurts...especially if it hurts.

If this lifetime isn't the time that i could be the one for you...in our next life , i won't have a 2nd thought of asking you to become my forever.

and as of now..i guess, i am strong enough to let this go
I think, it's time for me to draw a line as well,
i would still be around, to make sure your world will remain as colourful as it is
i will still be around, to be there for you whenever you need me.
and i will still be around, loving you from a distance...

And you are..

You're the reason behind my smile, you're the reason for my laughter, and also for the reason for my happiness...because you've showed me what love is but I never thought you're also the reason for my tears and for experiencing the greatest pain that could ever happen me...

do you love me ?

There is a girl that i love...even till now, i still love her, more and more day after day..

But as of now, even tho i can't be with her...i still love her...

every single words that i said, every single feelings that i had, and every single time that i spent for you..will remains as memories....

even till now, i wonder...have you ever love me before..

A show from the outside, and emptiness from the inside..

still hoping for a little caring, and loving from you...even it's just for awhile...i would be happy...