i lied..

in actual fact, this was the saddest night i am for all these while, for some reason, i can't stop the tears from coming out when i was driving home, i tried to control it while i was driving as slow as i can, it seems that..there's time where you can't lie about your true feelings, no matter how much you wanna avoid it, when it's there, it is there... this is what happened, when you didn't drink enough.

i really don't know what to do anymore, i am really confuse, and giving up at the very same time, i don't even know what i should do, or what should i do in this kind of situation, for what's best for myself, or what's best for other people, i really dont' know.

But as of now, i think the best thing i could do is just sit silently as what i've been doing all the while, and let another that i loved once slipped away just like that, it's hard for me to forget my first love, and i bet it will definitely be long for this current one.

At this point of time, i really do agree that, there are times that even tho the one that we love the most, are the one that we won't be able to be with. It was so saddening till i nearly started something i banned long ago, but of course it wont happen. And i think it's the same goes to my feelings right now, it..will...never happen..

heart broken, tears had been shred....but, it's all just me...myself, as long as i kept it to myself, no one would be trouble, confused, or having problems when it's just me..who takes all these pain...

i know..there were time that we should let the people know of that we love them, but in actual fact of mine, it's better....that...they do not know....i love you, but...i really do not have the courage to tell you, and yes....i admit i'm a loser or shy-guy or whatsoever, and.. i shall take all these pain and tears with me...

and again, even tho everyone having a good time, no..i am not, at all..not even a little...

ending this post, with tears, dissapointment of myself..heartbroken, and, sadness...