Missing, a piece of puzzle..

There's one day, something went in the small valley of my 7 and 8 button on the keyboad, and so i tried took the 7 button off to clean it. But it went *tak* ! and the button flew into the sky, and drop on the floor. That one button,that i lost in a single moment...took me almost half an hour to find, even tho it's just around me. Bleh...i can't believe during the time i lose that button, would effect so much. And so, i realize how important the 7 button on my keyboard is.

The saddest button that i'd lost, is still the ̃̃̃~ button. This little tilde buttons, took away almost 90% of my emotions in my online life, yes. Cause, most of my emotiocons started with this tilde buttons, which located just next to your 1, and above the TAB button. Suprisingly, this little button synchronize with my mood at the same time..the time, where i lost my own happiness. I still remember the first time i use this symbol, is during mirc, which i use ~_~ as to express...er...actually, it has no meaning at all...but little by little, it follows up at the end of my chat, just to show that i'm trying to drag what i'm trying to say, after losing this button. I'll list down the thing that i found out i cant do without it:

1. Hi there~
2. haha~
3. no~~~~
4. sobz~
5. yay~
6. whee~~
7. *~"nickname"~*
8. ~_~
9. heh~
   
10. oh~
11. ~>.<~
12. dengz~
13. omG !~
14. lol~
15. ~ is commonly used in games, especially Warcraft
16. ~ commonly used in the beginning of my emoticons too (e.g: ~lol = emoticons)
    
17. cant think anymore, as it'll depress me even more..
    

It's just the same as other thing in my life, a movie ticket, a receipt, ring, pendant, caps, watch...almost everything, was embedded with memories. You never know how important it is, until you lost it. But sometimes, no matter how much you tried to keep, treasure, and protect certain thing..it'll just gone, in a matter of second, leaving a crack in your heart for the rest of your life. You can try hiding the feelings, try forgeting it, but i'm sure it'll haunt us over and over again when the time comes.

I'd lost almost everything, people would say if you lost something, you'll gain something equally price, and i'm sure those who watch Full Metal Alchemist might understand this term easily. Well, if i counted the thing i'd lost, it's much more painful to think what i'd gained. Even though i regreted it, but by regreting will never be enough.

Things that i'd lost, was replace by someone else. Even tho i was told that i'm important, but somehow...i was sharing this very same line with someone else, maybe i'm just thinking too much. But as everyone knows, what's happening around us, actions..will often take over our own thoughts. So in the end, faith..isn't the only thing important in our life, to keep our love one to ourself.

I can't tell how much it hurts, by hearing others saying rumours about me being with other gurls. But, i can tell how much it hurts, when i see her with another guy, doing things that what lover does. I can tell, how helpless i am, when i see her doing things with him, that i wanna do with you. I can tell, how much i hated it, when she tell me you got mad at him, but still forgive him all the time. I can tell how much it hurts, for losing something, and being replaced by something else...and of course i can tell..how painful it is, when one's hanging in the middle of the rope, that you cant climb, or fall, but only waiting for people to pull you up, or cut the rope. And that's how cruel faith it is, when you leave your happiness to others. It's a nostalgic, yet saddening experience..that no one wished for.

Yeah, i understand very well..the fault i'm at last time, i know...what i'd done..but i could never understand your feelings when i do the wrong thing during that time. But for me, whom already has given up my own happiness. I guess, for someone like me who regretted, at guilt...are much more suited in these kind of life, lost..and hanging...it's sad, to know what you really wants to do, think...i cant tell when my tears will stop, and heart stop aching whenever i think about it. But, i still can tell, how much it meant, just to be by your side. Tho it might be ridiculous stupid to suffer all these pain, but i still can't give up to look at the smile of yours, which keep me moving on, until today.