9th June, 2006 - Finally im working, without realizing it, im doing some accounting job instead of the data entry that i heard off. Guess that i'm really unlucky with accountancy, and always need to face it when i'm expecting some computer working stuff.

It's not that bad tho, first day of working 12 hour straight, with only a lunch in the office, skipping dinner, but thank god there's left over dinner at home. Work quite sucks, was actually hoping that HP woud call me earlier, so that i could get the h3ll out of this shit. Well, i guess i'm just gonna try my best for this few days, so that i could get enuff money, to treat her a nice meal, buy her stuff, bring her out when she's back.

12th June, 2006 - 2nd day of work, receive complains about my work with alot of mistakes. C'mon, im not even a finance student to start with, not to mention i have totally zero knowledge about it. And asking me to OT and finish up her shit just because of the singaporean manager coming to hav to alook of it ? Hell, i'm not a crap cleaner or whatsoever, cleaning up mess is not my job, unless you pay me high enuff for the efforts. But RM60 per day is just a crap for all these hardwork. But well, at lest the GM is the wise person, and one of my collegue, other than that, not to mention the 2 girls that just work for 2 days, left alot of headache for us in the excel file during the end of the day. Sigh, even a dumbo person know's that, u got 10 Apple, u sell 3, nd u left back 7 apples. Obviously you minus it, not add it. Where the h3ll they get the idea of adding it up when they already selling it off ? Commonsense please, at least. Worked OT again today. Good, i'm looking forward getting my 'high' pay. And why the h3ll does reading a fiction for 30 minute effects my work ? since i got nothing to do, account manager ask me to wait her finish meeting till she can give me another work, are they asking me to waste my time staring at computer, and pretend that im working ? h3ll no !

13th June, 2006 - Moved from conference room to accounting room. Well, a small room that can only fit 3 ppl, and since there's only 2 accountant and 2 computer inside, i guess it's quite spacious for us 2. Work is pilling up, i really wonder how they can ignore those stupid Sales order for more than a week. Geez, that's why i hate people doing things last minute. Stupid account manager that got blardy hell loud voice, and she's actually the first person i'd meet to have such a ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE explaination. A simple definition that we can understand, she can confuse you till bringing you to the other world. Another dumbo person, thank god Gm always pop up from no were and save the day. He's the person that i respect the most,wise, smart, direct and firm.

14th, June - Skipped my work today. Don't ask me why, it's a rather sad situation. Sigh.

16th, June - Finally i gave her the answer, for working permanently there...as an accountant cum computer admin. Well, the comp admin just make myself happier with my job. Since we're also handling IT department for the moment. Seriously, i'm quite sad about the HP case, i wonder if it's cause of my poor assesment. Yeah, i must admit that my grammar sucks, it took me awhile to confirm some of the answer. Sigh, as usual, i cant work the place i wanted to work. And it's the 3rd time i failed in interview, hate it.

17th, June - First time working on a saturday in that office. Zzzz, i guess i'll skip the busy part in office. Cause it'll be the same till i mention something else next time. stupid Office with so much work, and so little staffs.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

It's been awhile i've see her in a moody mood, depress and somehow, what's the word again...Nevermind.

Days after days, i've been trying to cheer her up, making you feel more comfortable by saying something that i might think farny. But i guess it doesn't help much. cause in the end, you're still moody. Sigh, being helpless is not a good feeling.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Woke up in weird timing, headache...sorethroat, and a bit of aching here and there. Sigh, i even miss my dinner that made me so hungry now..

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

I read her blog, and yeah. It's not like im pretending to be a mindreader or such.Just that, i never wanna mention, or should i say, i cant mention something that i know, or maybe, both of us actually knew about it....and it's definitely a No No when you're in this kind of mood. But since you mention it, and i guess you should realize how important it is to you, to me....Even me always thought of what might happen when you're around, can i see you everyday like we talk about ? Can we talk to each other, and see each other without any problems or obstacle ? Should we lie to others about how we actually feel ? Sometimes i really doubt it. But i'd promise that we'll go in your pace, and that i shall follow..no matter how much pain i must suffer, no matter what kind of critics i would get, and even if the whole world gave up on me, as long as you're still with me, that's more than a reason for me to keep on living.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Trying to calm down, and think of a way when im driving home just now. But how should i say, i'd always think of the worse, and of course, the best. Having to stay up till 5am just to finish up the sheet, i would never wanna stay up again for today. But too bad, it's the worse when im home. My comp cant even on, the comp that im using now sucks, excel get error message once in awhile, well..i guess it's better than cant do anything at all.

Depression, is filling up me...as the day pass by, the feeling get worse, but at the same time, im happy about the days that's coming. Weird huh...i cant even tell what kind of feelings im havin anymore, not to mention i cant even think of any new words to express my feelings.

Having a car with empty petrol, wallet with left back RM2..yeah, i lied to her that i had money for petrol tomorrow, i guess i'll ask mum for help about that. And a comp that died on me for the first time i need to use excel on comp, to finish up my work, a phone that low batt that i need to most for ppl to contact me in the office, and during home. A dinner that i hope so much, since my lunch was quite bad. And, a ear that i wished for..Nothing seems to be working out right for me now. I guess, it's just not my day. Should i post this up today ?