Even until now..i don't even know i should had let you see all these or not. Not knowing what you'll think, regardless of what will happen...knowing you'll get confuse, with your own hopes and wishes...i might once again, ruining other people's life.

After all these time with you...it's been like, a month and a week since you'd left ? Still unsure of what i've been doing is right or wrong. Tho i had tell myself for letting you got all the time, since you'd already someone. Maybe i'm just being sellfish...for wanting you to be mine, and only mine. But, at things right now..at this rate..and if things continue like this, i think my mentality will just break off to many pieces one day, without knowing where should i follow.

Hearing things from your voice, is really something that kept me moving on. Sometimes i wonder how true this world is, does only people believe on what they see and think ? what about peoples word ? I wouldn't think someone is lying if they tell me something unbelievable. But, sometimes it's not me who wanna doubt what's happening around..just that, i just felt this way...day after day, i'm afraid of the reality...that even tho i love you, but i cant being with you as i wished....and i wonder how long ( again ) this will continue on...and i wonder, what's gonna happen when the day that you made your decisions, and what's gonna happen when people found out that i'm actually hammering people's relationship. I cant really tell what i've been doing is right or wrong anymore.

People would say, if you follow your heart..and as long as the couples are happy about it..there's no reason to be afraid of. Easy as to be said, but hard to follow.

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It's your birthday today...and yeah, i'm writing this after you're asleep...regretted through everything i did today, from the time i hang up phone, till now..and still wondering if i'm allowed to be in love with this girl..and i wonder whois the one gonna decide that..but if you'd ask me, i can only say : I wouldn't wanna lose her, anymore...

Even tho i went out for 2 hours, and i promise that i'll be here for the day. I hope you'll just give me another 22 hours that's left, the time that i cancel out all my datez...it's hard to make up something, when you'd already cast such a painful memories before...but, i just hope you'll be happier after all these, cause i couldnt hope more for you happiness..other than myself. I would wish for your wish to come true...until, the day you would smile..and telling me, that dream that you're wishing for, is actually for real...