Even tho i'd said i'll be fine since the very first day, even tho i had said i don't mind..but till now, i have to admit that, things is getting harder and harder...getting hurter and hurter...wait..i mean, it's getting sadder...and much more sadder, and once in awhile, i'll go blank when i tried to pretend...pretending that i'm okay..

I had always ask, why cant you made things easier for both of us, why cant you just settle things as fast as possible, why not, you just make sure that time that we can spend together, not wasted on time that you don't want to waste on. You had always tells me that how dislike you are to spend time on something else..and yet..you're still doing it, i know..you might have no choice..but, do you really have no choice ?

After thinkin of all these stuff, and i came back to myself again..maybe i just deserve all these, maybe you just wanna be secure...and maybe, that's why i can't really decide what you should do now, since..everything happened is all my fault..well, since it's that way, maybe..i should just cheer myself up now, for saying everything is all my fault..

I never know, for having sms not replied, or waiting for phonecalls nor sms..is that painful...every minute, seems forever..for knowing you're with someone else, that i cant be around...and..for not knowing what's really going on..worse of all, for knowing that things i didn't mean to sound like or said, has hurt you...my life, getting suckier...i wonder, if i can sell my soul to the devil...