Not picking up calls, not appearing on msn....so that i can escape everything that people prepare for me, so that i can escape from each and every celebration that people might come up for me...but, in the end..i have to pick up a call, whom ask me go out at nights, friends that i only can rely on.

Not knowing what will happen next, was quite happy that everyone came out just to celebrate with me, as in those that always being there for me when im down....when i needed them, works and morning classes never stop them from seeing me just before my birthday ends, and of course the most unexpectedly, a cake that she bought for me...is there..

Knowing how special this cake is, my tears nearly rush out, nothing is even more happier than seeing her name on it, saying that it's from her..first thing i did was sms her since i cant call her, totally speechless cause i'm overjoyed with it, how can i not ? since i get to eat cake like once every few year....and on that day before my birthday ends, i can really feel her around..so, even tho it's just a cake..you're already there =) The first one, and the last one who wished me..thanks for everything.

:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+:+

So, all those without replies or smses is cause you wanted to be alone..sorry, i guess i should had just stayed at home, avoiding everything that might cause you to think that i left you out...i know it all, wait...is that even important ? Since i know you might be staying up just for it, since i already know you're kind of person that would stay up all the time just being ready for me...and i know it so well that you wont sleep that early even i had told you...yeah, it's true that i don't know how it feels for not being there, and the cake is there...but, for not be able to be there, cant do anything, seeing someone else celebrating with u with so much creativity, knowing that you finally happy over the cake you've been waiting for...and finally im relief that someone did come up with something, that i always wish for...but, nowing that you're so happy with it, im not sad about it anymore....not sad about not being able to do anything..

But, even tho i knew all that, still...it's abit sad that you're always being able to do anything that i wanted to do, which make me even more down..i don't know how to react on it sometimes, should i enjoy it ? should i just say thanks ? I wanted to turn down everyone request, and just bring home the cake..but in the end, i can only sms with you, telling you how much i love it, trying to make myself sound excited when i am excited with it, my tears nearly rushed out when you called at that time too...what can i say ? there no words that would or can express how happy i am that night...

And this morning you complaining about others celebrating with me ? Yeah, i know you dont like it...it's already my fault, i didn't know you would mind that i write about my friends on msn, since you already know how much i appreciate what you did...it's true that i never ask you to join, cause it's already 5 people here and i wouldn't know how to be with 2 situation...even tho i asked you too online, and you wouldn't, further more...i already did what i can, what do you expect me to do ? there's even a friend who skip work just because he overtired yesterday....

i really don't know what to say anymore, i know it's hard if you ask someone to do favors , especially those who you don't really know..that's why i wouldn't want you to get into trouble just because of me..cause, knowing that if they can get a cake, and knowing that i'll eat it without you around...is no different, which i think it's better to stay at home just to spend my quiet and happy day with you...but in the end, there's still things you can find and complain off...i really don't know what to do anymore..

Oh wait, did i mention that i went out, cause i probably know that he still will do the things you asked him ? hmm...it's getting messy here...maybe i should stop writing this with this feelings...

It was the greatest night yesterday just because of the cake.. as always, happiness dissappear so fast like you said..