There's nothing i could do, to prevent myself from missing you so much...day after day,almost every hours, minutes and second...no matter i was busy working, driving, or even having my lunch or dinner. All i think is you...Even a 10 minute nap, i could even dreamt of you being together, which seems like forever..

I wonder if i would go crazy again as this continues...

Desaturated...

As much as i tried to avoid admiting and ignoring the facts, i guess there's no way i could escape from the reality..

My world has indeed gone less colorful...quieter, and...getting a little bit meaningless...i wonder why...

hmm

It's amazing that how much a glance of eye , and a words from mouth could tell. Sometimes, we just have to ignore when we knew too much...but, there are times i wonder, if..have i ever ignored the wrong things which i am not suppose to ?

I guess, the heart will always tell, while the eyes will always deliver when they meet.

I need you, because..i love you..

I guess, feelings doesn't go away as you wanted.

Often people asked why someone were in relationship anyway, and often..people do not know if it's just a habit, or just cause they truly love each other.

Even now, reading back everything i wrote, i finally understand how...to differentiate someone you like and wanna be with, with someone you love and been dying to live with.

I just realize that, you could love someone so much, till you would let them go. And by loving someone, are always meant to care of their feelings before you.

If that so, i wonder...how long will a relationship last if they were never looking at the same future together..

How many people know how to differentiate between this 2 line anyway ?
* I love you, because i need you
* I need you, because i love you.

i will remembers..

I still remember, the first day i met you...for the unusual me whom usually go out with shorts, and some normal tShirt. I was dressed up nicer that day, what's more..styling up my hair where i don't do usually. Without knowing whom i'll be meeting, i head out for dinner, and that's the night..where it changes my life.

I still remember, the angelic voice which re-sound in me, dress in white, whom i don't even dare to look at, afraid that i'll fall for her in first glance. I avoided pretty well, for the first time..whom i actually decided just to remember nothing, except her beautiful voice.

I still remembers, few days later, here she is again, right infront of me this time. This time, she made me fell again. Her beautiful eyes made me goes deaf for awhile. At that time, i knew...she caught my heart.

I still remember, the day we talk about the things we noticed, the things that we enjoyed about...and that's when i look for all kinds of reasons, to see you whenever i could. And so, this is where i fell deeper..and deeper each day i sees you.

I still remember, the first day i got amazed by the most beautiful smile of yours
I still remember, the things you like the most
I still remembers, the day you enjoyed the most
I still remembers, the day where i am glad that i could spend time with you only
I still remembers, the note u wrote for me
and i'm glad, i'm the one whom you find when you're in trouble, when you needed someone, when you need a shoulder to cry on.

As time past by, even it's just a short period of time, these days seems to be the sweetest memories of all. As it's like a fairy tale..

As much as i wanted to protect you
as much as i miss you every second in everyday
as much as i want to tell you how lovely you are
to tell you how much you meant to me
as much as i want to be with you all the time and be there for you whenever you need
as much as i wanted to tell everyone else how much i love you
I can't...

and i know, in reality..i can't do this, forever.

I'm glad i met you
i'm glad that you let me love you, even it's just for awhile.
Although i can't be your number one,
you're always my number one in life.

But things can't be perfect all the time, that I know, sometimes we just have to let some things go. And now, i have learnt another lesson, where i learn when to give up, when to walk away, Even if it hurts...especially if it hurts.

If this lifetime isn't the time that i could be the one for you...in our next life , i won't have a 2nd thought of asking you to become my forever.

and as of now..i guess, i am strong enough to let this go
I think, it's time for me to draw a line as well,
i would still be around, to make sure your world will remain as colourful as it is
i will still be around, to be there for you whenever you need me.
and i will still be around, loving you from a distance...

And you are..

You're the reason behind my smile, you're the reason for my laughter, and also for the reason for my happiness...because you've showed me what love is but I never thought you're also the reason for my tears and for experiencing the greatest pain that could ever happen me...

do you love me ?

There is a girl that i love...even till now, i still love her, more and more day after day..

But as of now, even tho i can't be with her...i still love her...

every single words that i said, every single feelings that i had, and every single time that i spent for you..will remains as memories....

even till now, i wonder...have you ever love me before..

A show from the outside, and emptiness from the inside..

still hoping for a little caring, and loving from you...even it's just for awhile...i would be happy...

and so...is this the ending ?

Looking back those days
ya, it's true..that i've been a fool all along
silly me who didn't even wanna get hold of chances
stupid me who think that i could handle all these
as of now,
i can't even go through a day
without talking to you even you're around.
It hurt so much
more than bleeding at this moment
like walking on a shattered glasses barefooted.

I wonder, if i have been loved before
or
they just stick around cause of the warmth they looking for.

In the end,
who will be the one who would give me their love ?